I'm not sure if it was just my experience growing up, or if this is more of an Australia or world wide phenomena - but being selfish is seen as one of the biggest sins there is.
I mean, I know that we are supposed to be helpful, and not selfish in a narcissistic kinda way (coz that doesn't bode well for many), but the perception that all selfish behaviour is bad is probably not serving the mother community.
Martyrdom - putting yourself last so you can make sure that everyone around you is A-OK, is the most frequently supported version of who we 'should be' in society. The good mother complex tells us that everyone else is more worthy of our time before we are.
When we move into matrescence, that glorious shift from womanhood to motherhood, one of the best components of this spiritual journey is the one where we have to learn how to nurture ourselves so we can best nurture others.
So what does a selfish motherhood look like?
Such a great question. What do you think it...
Hello you super busy Mama!
I got you and I see your life. It's hectic AF.
You have a million tabs open and you are trying to do all of the things for all of the people.
And maybe you have forgotten a little bit about doing it for yourself.
As working mum's, I really wanted to jump in here and share some love about busy.
You see, our beautiful brain thrives on things changing.
In fact, it loves it when we infuse different things into our day.
Whats interesting amongst this is that when we continuously exist in one of these frameworks, an imbalance occurs, and it can lead to burnout, overwhelm, fatigue, anger, frustration... you get the picture.
In our super busy worlds, we often see the busy as a superpower. I am so great and can get so much shit done because I am a super mum.
Until you come crashing down, and your body lets...
RU Ok day always stirs a shift inside of me? What about you?
I'm not sure if it came from wishing someone had asked me this when I was struggling through the first elements of new motherhood, of the times where I fully masked up and pretended to have all of the shit together.
Today I implore you to ask your neighbour, your friend, your tribe member, in fact even your healthcare provider or your mum... are you ok?
But are you really?
Is lockdown getting to the point where you aren't able to connect with people like you used to? Are you fearful of what this all might look like on the other side?
Are you worried you are stuck in stress mode and can't navigate how to move through this?
If you have any worries, reach out. I'll be the one answering emails and facebook comments, and I am totally here for you!
I really hope you are ok!
Much mama Love!
Chiro, Mama and Lover of myself!
This month you are going to see me dropping it like it's hot , or at least working hard at getting some great support out there for all of the working mum's.
Here's a caveat, I think all mums work, so don't switch off if you feel you don't fit the MO. You will see some stat's starting to seep out this week about working mum's, particularly that:
1. 53.4% of mum's are actively in the workfoce
2. The Gender Pay Gap has widened in Australia this year to 14.2%
3. 55% of women report a weaker support system when they no longer work full time.
4. 70% of full time working women do all or most of the caregiving at home.
I mean it's no wonder that 39% of working mum's don't or can't prioritise physical activity. This month I'll be working on supporting your tribe, your tools, and your connection so you can feel that you can achieve a bit more balance.
You are worth it. If you are lucky enough to be in The Motherhood - my membership group that is only $10/month, this month we...
If you have been watching along on my socials, I've been working hard at increasing my movement. In my practice in Gladstone, we've been focusing on Active August, as we all know how much movement makes your health and internal dialogue shift and change.
Whilst researching for this and my book (still writing, writing, writing), I stumbled across a neuroscientist who outlined five ways that exercise actually changes your brain.
I think they provide an extraordinary insight into the role that our choices around movement can alter our brain function to make it more open to change, joy, courage and bravery. You can read the article here.
I'm not going to rehash the full 5 reasons in great detail, but let me spell it out simply for you!
1. The exercise high primes you to connect with others
2. Exercise can make your brain more sensitive to joy
3. Exercise makes you brave
4. Moving with others builds trust and belonging
5. Trying a new activity can transform your self image.
It's pretty amazing how our body holds onto memories and transplants them as neurological and emotional reactions at times when we wouldn't think it would be appropriate.
Our body has this amazing ability to have a blueprint of wired responses that we get when we have a strong enough emotional reaction to something.
I could ramble on about it here, but if you have the time, do yourself a favour and go and watch this 30 minute video with Joe Dispenza, where he dives into the how and why of our emotional selves and how we get stuck in the same pattern 95% of the time.
Even though I've known this for a long time, his explanation of it really makes it super simple to understand.
As a mum, there are so many triggers that go on in our day to day that can create a stress response, that if it is big enough, becomes our go to response if we have stress occurring all the time.
And it's up to us to choose to change it.
To recognise it.
To change the...
I’m going to give you a little back story here. Unsurprisingly, as a busy rushing woman and mother, the power of my breath was lost on me. I would rush here, rush there, fit it all in and get my To Do List done, and then I would crash into bed, have a restless sleep and start all over again.
I bet this is familiar to a few of you too!
When I went through my health concerns in 2020, I really felt I needed to find a way to hack my Vagus nerve and re-establish some calm into my world through utilising my parasympathetic's.
Now I am super blessed to have an amazing friend who does breath and yoga for calm work for a living. In fact I work with her. The calmly patient Courtney Morrison. So she began to teach me some simple ways to really get into this. You can find out more about her by going here!
These tools are life changing. For everyone I show them too.
So here they are for you!
Today I'm going to write about the box breath. The slow and mindful in and out breathing...
So I'm sure if you've been watching along at home on my insta stories, you've probably noticed that on the weekend I went away for a quiet writing weekend, and whilst I was staring at the sunrise, I stood on a SEA SNAKE.
Even now, as I write about it, I can feel the squishiness under my foot.
At the time I was a bit shocked, but I didn't think much of it.
Interestingly, I noticed that as my day progressed I started feeling
And I realised, that whilst I hadn't felt stressed in the event, it had obviously stressed me out internally.
And it's this kinda thing (well, hopefully not standing on a snake), that can really get our stress quotient up.
Have any of you felt these things creep into your day?
So... Stressland. That conversation that a lot of us don't want to have, but it really really drives a lot of our days.
Just like you, I have those days where I wake up stressed, and I feel like before I even set foot on the ground, there is an internal groundswell of angst and frustration that I just can't put my finger on.
Sometimes I can relate it to my cycle (but call me lucky, this is a rarity for me). Sometimes I can relate it to a shitty nights sleep, where my kids have got me out of bed to walk them to the toilet (or in the good ol' days, to feed them and change their bum).
Sometimes I can relate it to too much caffeine the day before, which really impacts on my sleep quality. Or a glass or two of wine with dinner the night before - jeepers that sugar and alcohol wake up at 3am can be brutal can't it.
But sometimes I just can't seem to place my finger on the why of it. Why I'm feeling it.
Yet here I am, stressing out and getting frustrated for no reason at all.
You may have seen my instagram story last week about Self-Regulation and how our ability to self regulate can really help to calm our kids down too.
I have no desire to make this about lack, judgement or a perceived mis-step on your behalf... in fact, it has taken me years to even remember to try and do this at the appropriate times.
So this is why I wanted to share these little tips and cues I have gathered together over the last few years.
These are required for me when I am feeling wired, angry, heightened or short fused.
1. Stop... even for just a second, and breathe.
2. Sometimes I scream or yell really loudly into a pillow.
3. Play super loud music and sing or dance until the stress passes.
4. Have a 5 minute nap.
5. Cuddle your kids (or your dog or cat, whatever can help you to sit and be still)
6. Have a cuppa, outside in nature, on the lawn, or under a tree or in the breeze.
7. Pop a meditation in your ear-holes.
8. Go for a run, jump on a bike, jump on...