Lets stop throwing shade
I've just done some research on judgement in mothering, and recorded a podcast about it... and it really grinds my gears.
Over the last few years we have all been trying our best to do all of the things, and it's been a whole lotta hard work. Then we throw into the mix the rise of internet trolls (I mean look at the poor ladies from the ABC who have taken down their twitter accounts just to avoid it), the mum's groups on facebook, as well as the school yard - and there is judgement everywhere!
In my podcast episode I look at how the role of judgement, from an evolutionary perspective, is to create a cultural best practice. And I can totally see that. We all try things a different way, and then we sort of judge what is and isn't working and come up with best practice.
This is wholly different to what is happening in society now. I don't know about you, but the abuse that I see and hear about people's choices is frightening.
I know I've judged people before and learning from this has been huge for me.
Lets look at three things we could consider:
1. The values of that family/mother may be wildly different to yours (and that's ok).
2. Their circumstances (money, time, family environment), may preclude them from doing things a certain way.
3. The entrenched and learned morals and ethics we all bring to our mothering journey that we discover from our own mother is huge.
Maybe they didn't get the cooking lessons from mum, or the ethics lessons on shoes at the shops (sorry mum, my kids are often barefoot).
Bringing kindness and respect to our interactions is key.
Identifying if
1. It's info that you can take on board ... OR
2. This isn't for me, move on!
Lets all just put some love out there into that big wide world, and dial back the judgement.
I'm currently diving into how it impacts our neurology, and how as health practitioners, we learn to come from a non-judgemental position - and how we can get that outside of our practices too!
Much Love Mama,
Dr Ali
Chiro, Mama and Busy Brain Supporter.xox
