As busy mum's, we can easily determine our worth on production... coz that's what we are fed.
We get a lot of outside in influence (yep, all that media, stories from people, even stories from our workplaces), that we can define our worth on how much we can fit into a day.
Have we ticked a certain amount off our to-do list? Have we sent all those emails and answered all those calls? Have we made those appointments? Have we scheduled in the things we need to be doing?
What if there was a different way to determine our worth?
What if there was a way to figure out just how much we matter... that didn't rely on the external influences that drive us.
And further to this, what if we knew how to tap internally, to calm that outside speak and let the inner speak happen?
I remember when I first dived into these concepts of determining my worth outside of external validation.
It felt like something WAY TOO BIG to tackle.
In fact... there are still certainly times where I dive into the external world because it is easier. And as a working mum, we have a whole heap of KPI's and benchmarks that we can use to externally validate.
But lets' look at that internal determination of worth. How can we figure that out? How can we internally navigate these?
I know I keep mentioning values... and there is more than this.
According to Merriam-Webster, self-worth is defined as "a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect".
There are also other definitions that matter too though, those around self-esteem and self-value. On researching this topic, I found this really beautiful research quote on Positive.Psychology website:
Dr. Christina Hibbert explains this: “Self-esteem is what we think and feel and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing ‘I am greater than all of those things.’ It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth.” (2013).
If this doesn't hit the nail on the head around self-worth or self-esteem... then I don't know what does.
The self-worth theory extends to four key areas:
As a mother... how do we judge ourselves on these things. When we are working, its easier to tick off these achievement parameters... which is one of the reasons I think that we do strive to work and parent, it allows us to explore our self-worth.
The question I pose to you today... how can we determine our self-worth... away from the doing?
Where can we measure our ability? What marker do we use? Can we, or do we need to choose a different one? What ability allows us to explore the concept of self-love even further?
Where are we channelling our efforts? Is this feeding back to our brain about self-worth?
What performance do we need to value here? Is it an actual task, or is it possibly a recognition of an inner-dialogue, and the performance of changing that for something better? Which then feeds forward into improving our self-worth - which is point four.
Much Mama Love,
Chiro, Mama & Health Strategist for Working Mum's.