Leaps, Development & You.

I remember when I had my first child. And she would seem to get into a routine, and then POW... it would all shift.

And I blamed myself for this. I thought I was doing something wrong, or maybe I should have more information, there was a way around this that I hadn't quite figured out yet.

A few of my girlfriends who had kids before me told me it was normal. And not to stress... but this didn't really help me either. 

And surprisingly at this time, even with all of my paediatric knowledge and my work with babies and their mum's, I couldn't step outside of the situation to see that it was normal. That I wasn't doing anything wrong. That there wasn't anything wrong with my babe. That is was just the journey of these first few months.

So I thought I would pen all about leaps, what they are, and what the may look like. If you have access to the Wonder Weeks app, then you can generally follow along there to get some great info on what is happening. When you are living it however, it can be quite tricky to navigate.

What is a LEAP?

A leap is where your darling child is mastering a new skill and they are going through a patch of massive change. And with this change, comes a time of upheaval. A time where you aren't sure why everything has turned topsy turvy.

I like to think of leaps a little like learning to ride a bike. A child will be creating a new pathway in their brain, and to do this, it takes away a lot of energy from other activities. 

Like sleeping.

Like latching well.

Like pooping.

Like being calm.

So in leaps, your child will change. And by the end of it, you will both come out expressing new things about yourself. As a mum, not knowing that this is what is happening is really hard to navigate.

The sense that maybe I've done something wrong is real, and they can really take a toll on your mental health. So in leaps, being kind to you is just as important as being kind to your child. And seeking support where you can get it is crucial.

There are two major leaps that I thought I would discuss ... just to give you an idea of the leap and how it can play out!

3-6 WEEKS

Somewhere in the timeframe of 3-6 weeks, your baby will 'wake-up' a bit, will come more alive, and will have days where they cluster feed and days where they are the happiest kids alive.

They will have days where you think they are significantly suffering reflux, or have wind and constipation.  

This doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong, it's just that they are having a digestive system that is acclimating to their environment, and they are beginning to neurologically map this world on the outside. 

As a mum I found this really hard. I'd seen it in my practice of course, but living it was a whole extra level change. I felt I couldn't do anything right, and was totally bemused as to why it was happening.

I needed support, and to talk to other mum's all about what the fuck was happening. I was so thankful to have my hood around me.

4 MONTH SLEEP REGRESSION

So this is when you're well-sleeping babe can end up turning into a monster for a few weeks. It's when they begin to do more motor movements, they get head control, they maybe alter their food requirements... and as they are mastering all of these new activities, they decide sleep is for the weak.

And apparently this is also for you mama. You can not sleep at this time. Jokes.

I know that many mum's just want to know they aren't alone at this time. That it is all for a developmental purpose, that the little babe's body is doing it for a really specific reason. 

That you are supporting them to lay down pathways they are going to use as they start to crawl, roll, eat, sit, stand and walk right now. That they are leaning all of these cool things. And it means they decide not to sleep.

It often feels like they are doing it just because they don't like you. Trust me... this is not the case. 

They can't help it.

Support yourself. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Do a solid partner hand off if you can, or let your housework go for a few weeks if possible.

I always wanted to A... even though I knew it was real, it was bloody hard work to live it.

So my top tip... take one day at a time. Decrease your normal schedule if you have a few things on, hang out with other mums or your support people who get you. 

Try not to cling on so tight to the ideals of sleep and patterns that were already established... it's highly likely these will change by the end of this regression.

And know that generally speaking, your babe will sleep again.

With much Mama love, 

Dr Ali

Chiro, Mama, Lover of the future Mama living inside each of you!